Artemix was now given 2on-1off...
I also registered on the Artemisinin-Yahoo!group in case i did sth wrong, wanting any advice...and just plain talk to someone since it had been many months since i spoke and opened myself to anyone...
3 very good people offered to give me medication (I4P and Artemisinin/Artemix) which they did send by airplane...!!!
I had contacted many friends but only one could get us to the vets Saturday 8th March...
I waited anxiously and counted every hour since Thursday!
Morning Saturday she calls and she can't make it...I call a few friends...none I called were available...
I gave up...and hoped for next Saturday......
(now some other people say ''why didn't you call me?'' and i don't know what to say to them or myself...)
Can't remember the exact date (maybe 2-3 weeks) this started but Husko was now sleeping like this (opposite side ,left)
I put a fan 1yrd away blowing air at him in case he had trouble breathing...it seemed to help...
Last 2-3 days he only wanted to sleep this way on his right side...
If I lay him to sleep on his left side he would moan and ''distort'' his body to the point his head would almost reach his pelvis...
He slept throughout the day and night only waking up to pee or relieve himself...
He could not stand oh his (3) legs anymore...he would immediately or 2-4 secs later fall ,while also ''distorting/bending'' on his right side (head to pelvis).
My mind was full of thoughts it burned and felt empty...I just waited for next Saturday and if nothing improved till Monday-Tuesaday i would call the vets to come to the house to put Husko to sleep...
I could only guess...was it maybe not giving enough Artemix (more days on Artemix) or was it giving the immune system time to get the sick cancer cells out (more days off Artemix)?
Should I had maybe just stopped Vetoryl for a few days or go 2days*30mg+Artemix then 2days*15mg then nothing of these?
What was the magic combo??????
***********
Thursday 13th March to Friday 14th March
After coming home from work ,my mother said she gave Husko a good massage and he was stretching his legs (this leg stretching he always did when massaged was what confused me...what was wrong with his leg?)
***********
He was sleeping quietly in the living room (on his right side)...
I gave his 1*30mg Vetoryl + 1 capsule Artemix w/1TBsp O.Coconut.O.
1 hour later 1 capsule Artemix w/1TBsp O.Coconut.O.
(A voice in my head told me to not give Vetoryl or Artemix this night...I didn't listen...)
***********
Later at night (2-3am I think) he moaned so i rush to check...
Lifted him up in case he wanted to pee...
He couldn't stand and even if I was holding him ,his ''folding/distorting'' was painful to watch...
I put him on his left side and pet him...
Strangely the ''distorting/bending'' stopped this time after i pet his head...
Gave for the first time a 3rd 1 capsule Artemix w/1TBsp O.Coconut.O.
He belched 4-5 times...
He looked at me with a look I have never seen before...
as though asking ''do you want me to leave...?''
He slept...I went back to my room to rest ,
even though a voice spoke to me in my head to sleep on the couch (like i did many nights before...but the slightest noise would seem to wake him up so I thought it would be better if he rested)
***********
He woke up about an hour later...
Lifted him up again in case he wanted to pee...my voice was not tender...it was frustrated...
nothing...
I put him on his right side again...and he slept almost immediately...
***********
No more than an hour later I went to check...
He had peed his bed...
I gently pulled him on the floor...moaned for a second...
I changed the sheets...massaged his side and pet his head...
He looked so calm and gentle...so beautiful...
***********
I slept no more than an hour later in my bed...
Mother went to work at 7a.m. ...he was still alive...breathing a bit slow and heavy as she told me...
Father said he found him not alive at 8a.m. but didn't wake me up...
Mother came back from work at 9:30a.m. and woke me up...
''Husko is dead'' she said...
I can't remember jumping from my bed & going to the living room so fast ever in my life...
I couldn't believe it...he wasn't stiff or cold yet...
Pushed his chest for a few seconds trying to make him breath...nothing...
Checked for pulse...nothing
In my panic i took a syringe and drew 1-2ml of blood in case a vet could tell me what happened...
Then...
everything...
stopped...
***********
I can't remember how many hours i was standing over his body...
crying...
smoking...
crying...
feeling empty...
forgetting to breath...
waiting for this nightmare to end so i will wake up...
waiting to see him taking a breath since he looked so calm...
No comments:
Post a Comment